R2B 137 Holly Worton ~ How to Stop Hiding & Overcome Your Fear of Visibility

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What You’ll Learn

• 7 signs you’re playing small and hiding your business from your ideal clients
• Benefits of overcoming your fear of visibility
• Why it’s so important to pay attention to what you procrastinate on
• Questions you need to ask yourself so you can overcome this fear
• Why this fear won’t go away on its own; you need to do something about it

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Related episodes

• BMP215 Holly Worton ~ Boost Your Visibility With Reviews, Testimonials, Referrals, & Shoutouts
• BMP213 Holly Worton ~ How to Face the Shadow Side of Visibility With Confidence
• BMP211 Holly Worton ~ How to Redefine Visibility & Create Deeper Connections Online
• BMP157 Holly Worton ~ How to Increase Your Visibility by Transforming Your Mindset
• [SHP 53] How to Raise Your Visibility, with Jenny Kovacs

Transcript

Holly:   Hello and welcome to the ready to bloom podcast episode 137. This is your host Holly Worton and I am back with another solo episode. Now, rarely do I do two solo episodes back-to-back but there have been a lot of changes going on in my business, once again. And, I have been sharing these with my email list and talking about what’s been going on for me there. But I wanted to bring this out and make this a little bit more public, because I think it is something that would be really, really useful.

So, today’s episode, we are going to talk a little bit about how to stop hiding in your business, and how to overcome your fear of visibility. Now this is a huge issue that affects a lot of the people that I work with, and that’s really no surprise to me, because It is something that I have really struggled with.

Now, I have told this story a lot; but I am going to go through it really quickly again. You may know that I have been in business since 1999, which is a quite long time, but my first business which I had for over 10½ years, was with a business partner, we had a big team of people working with us, it was a big thing and it wasn’t just about me. Now when I quit my involvement in that business, and took some time off to figure out what it was that I wanted to do, trained as a coach, and then started on my current business journey, it was a whole other issue for me. Now, I came to this business with loads of practical business knowledge and experience, lots of online marketing experience. I knew all the practical stuff, I knew how to run a business; and on one hand, that was amazing, because a lot of people who train as coaches and Psych-K® facilitators and those kinds of businesses, don’t have that practical business and marketing knowledge. So, I had all the practical bits, but I had so much emotional baggage, not just from my first business, but just from life in general; just all of those you know: I am not good enough; no one is going to want to pay for what I do, or not enough people; they will find out that I am a fraud. All that negative mind chatter and just crap going on in my head, and I have been working on clearing that and upgrading that for the last few years; and as you know, probably from listening to other either videos or podcasts, the technique that I use to do that is Psych-K®. Now, I trained in that for personal use, but it changed my life so much that that’s now what I am doing in my business when I work with other business entrepreneurs and help them upgrade their business mindset by changing their beliefs at the subconscious level.

So, let’s talk a little bit about what’s going on in my business, because there have been big changes again. So, I am not changing the focus of my business – still doing what I said that I am doing which is helping women with their mindset, and still using this particular technique. But, I have completely redesigned my website, just launched this week, rebranded it, changed it to a new domain – my name, hollyworton.com. Woah! I have a new logo, I have a new tagline, it is all out there. I have been updating my artwork on social media, I changed the name of my Facebook page from Ready2Bloom to my own name, and it has made me feel just urghh, because it is taking me outside of my comfort zone and into a whole new place.

Now I have been talking to my list about how I felt like I was outgrowing my brand, I felt that I had been hiding behind business brands for the last few years, I went from travel hospitality, to Tribal Publishing, to Socially Holistic to Ready2Bloom. Ready2Bloom was actually a reincarnation of a brand that I had started even before Tribal Publishing, which was my life coaching brand, that I kind of revisited for my Psych-K® business. I really liked that concept, and I loved all my business names, and I loved all my branding, but I really felt that I was hiding behind those business names. Now, this is not to say that people who choose to use a business name rather than their own name are hiding. This was in my case, it may be in your case, it may not be your case – so I just want to make that clear. I had go to the point where I felt like I was hiding behind that business name Ready2Bloom and I felt like I had outgrown it. And, I also was really frustrated with the fact that as I have grown over the last few years, and clarified what my zone of genius is, and what my specialities are, and what I can best help people with; my business has changed so much over the years and that means that my branding has changed. I had all those different business names – there were other business names out there as well, those were the main ones.

So, yeah, just lots of changes, and I feel like now it is time for me to step into using my own name as my business name. And so, I got this logo designed – I am so in love with my logo – you know, how sometimes you just get a new graphic design for something, and you just can’t stop starting at it, I am like that with my logo. I really, really, love it. So, I am excited about it, but also ooh like I said it is out of my comfort zone, because I have got this new tagline and this is something that kind of came to me as a download, several months ago, and I have had it on a post-note on the wall beside my desk, so that I could see it every day and I wasn’t quite sure what I was going to do with it, or how I was going to use it and I ended up working it into my logo. And the tagline is: Business Mindset Alchemist. Now, what the heck is that? Who am I to call myself such a thing? I mean I am a coach, I am a Psych-K® Facilitator, I help people transform their mindset by changing their beliefs at the subconscious level. I am not a magician, it is not about me, it is not about my clients. But, I got that download with that tagline and it felt right at one level, even though it scared the crap out of me. So, like I said, I ended up integrating that into my new logo, and that is my tagline and it scares me but what the heck, there it is.

So, that’s that, lots of new stuff, lots of putting stuff out there in a bigger way. I just hired someone to help me with my Facebook ads, I am really, really excited about working with her; I know she is the perfect person to help me with this, and getting back into webinars, hoping to build my list a little bit; and just really put myself out there in a bigger way so that I can attract the best people to work with me. I am really excited about this, but it also takes me out of my comfort zone and scares the crap out of me. And I was explaining to my email list the other day, I think it was earlier today, that when my business coach saw me upload my new Facebook cover photo, she commented on it immediately and said how much she liked it, and it was like the little sign that kind of reassured me because it was like I knew I was on track. She knows what my business plans are, she knows how important it is for me to take my work out there on a larger scale and so when I got her kind of thumbs up on my Facebook cover image, that really made me feel a little better – you know in the big scheme of things of taking myself out there, and just putting things out there in a bigger way.

So, visibility is a big thing for me – it is a big thing for my clients – and it is something that I know that I am able to take the action to put myself out there in this way; to rebrand myself as my name, which is a big thing for me, to get the logo, to get the tagline, all of that. I know that it is easy for me to do that, and I say easy in the sense that I have taken the action – you know, there was some stuff going on about stepping outside my comfort zone – but I took the action and the action was actually pretty easy to take. I took it, I did it and then kind of went ugh. But, the action was so easy to take, because I have done the mindset work, and I know that because I have seen it in myself before and it is one of the biggest things that clients say to me, that after they have done the work to change their mindset, and their beliefs at the subconscious level, taking action becomes so easy. So, I know that’s how it works, because that’s how it works.

So, let’s go on and stop talking about me, and talk about seven signs that might be playing small and hiding and you know, you might have a fear of visibility. So, you might have some of these signs, you might have all of these signs, here they are:

• Either no social media presence or you have set up your profiles and haven’t done anything with them; or you have set up your profiles but you are too scared to put your picture on them, or stuff like that. There are so many women out there who have been in business for a while, and they either have no social media presence or they have something that is just really disjointed and not really out there. Social media can be a really, really, good way of marketing your business, of networking online, of attracting your ideal clients – as you know that was my previous business, Socially Holistic and Tribal Publishing were both based on helping people with their social media. So, I know how powerful this can be, but it can also be really scary, it’s big, it’s international, it is not just like a local networking group, it is really putting yourself out there in a big way. And, of course there are ways to be active on social media but not put yourself out there in a bigger way, and people sometimes hold back – so Facebook is a good example, if you are just posting to your Facebook page but not really doing anything to grow it, and you have got 100 or so likes on it, and only a small percentage of people are seeing what you post, because of course Facebook doesn’t deliver your graphics to everyone, or your posts to everyone, doing Facebook ads could be a great way to increase your audience and increase engagement of what you do and help people to learn about what you are doing. So, playing small on social media, having no social media presence or an awkward social media presence, or an almost invisible social media presence is one of those signs that you are playing small and hiding in your business.

 

• Another one is: having no email list; or, having an email list and not sending out emails. Now, I was guilty of that for a really long time. I built up my email list over the years, lots of people stayed on with me as my business evolved into its different incarnations, and I had a goal to email people once a month. And sometimes that happened, and sometimes it didn’t – I think mostly, towards kind of the beginning part of last year, the last two-thirds of last year, I was emailing monthly and that was it. Something happened this year and I have been emailing weekly, which is what you are supposed to do, so that people can hear from you on a regular basis. It has suddenly become really, really easy and it was because I found – finally – my thing with my emails. I had such a hang-up that I had to deliver really solid content in my emails, and make it really practical, and actionable, and I was getting really hung-up on creating content for this whole mindset thing – and then I realised the best thing I could do would be to just tell my story, and talk about the stuff that hangs me up and can be really difficult in my business. And the stuff that stops me from taking action and the ways that I have overcome action and that kind of thing. So, I have been sharing that, and I had such a great result, people are hitting reply and writing back to me and I do include actionable stuff. I talk about myself, but then I put it to them, and I say, you know: what about you? how could you benefit from doing this, that or the other…? And given journal prompts and that kind of thing. So, it has been really, really, useful. I am aware now the power of the email list, of having people interested in hearing from you on a weekly basis. But, up until this year, I was hanging onto my list and not sending out very frequent emails. So, you know, that was my way of playing small. I also had this fear – and I am going to say this in case you have this fear as well – you know how every time send out an email there will be unsubscribes, because they are people who forgot they signed up and then they are no longer interested or they are clearing out their inbox, or whatever. I unsubscribe from stuff all the time. But, it got to the point with me where I was afraid to send out an email because I knew that people would unsubscribe and then my list would go down. Argh. If you believe that, you need to get over that, because people will unsubscribe in the same way that you will unsubscribe from stuff I am sure. But the trick is to grow your list from the people who want to hear from you, and then you know slowly weed out the people who don’t want to hear from you, which is fine, that’s normal. So, that’s that, building an email list but not cultivating it properly.

 

• Procrastinating on stuff that you know will take your business out there. Videos are a big thing. I work with a lot of clients who have a fear of video, I have helped a lot of clients get over their fear of video. Video is a big thing. Think about the stuff that you are procrastinating on and see, you know, a lot of times it is the stuff that will take you out there in a bigger way. And, make you more visible and that can be really scary. So, procrastinating on marketing stuff, and stuff that will…clear actions that will get you more visibility. So, that’s another sign that you are playing small, procrastinating on clear actions that will get you great results in your business.

 

• Another thing is avoiding speaking, and that could be online speaking or offline speaking. You know, if you are avoiding speaking at networking groups, or even going to networking groups and just doing your one-minute elevator pitch; are you avoiding doing webinars, even though you know that they might help your business? Are you avoiding doing workshops? Retreats? Events? Any kind of thing where you have to be centre-stage. That can be…now this is not for every business, but if you are activating avoiding it, even though you know you would like to do it, that’s something you need to work on. Because that can be a really powerful way of working with people and finding out about what you do. And, if you are actively avoiding any kind of online, or offline, speaking engagement, then that’s another sign that you are playing small, and being invisible in your business.

 

• Another sign is having no network, and that can be an online network, or an offline network. I was talking to someone one time, and I can’t even remember who it was or what it was, but it was a couple of years ago, and she was talking about the ‘online business cliques’ and she was relating it to High School, where you know there were the cool girls, they knew each other, and they did their thing together and she said: I kind of feel it is like that with online business, you can see that all of these people are friends, and they do joint ventures together and webinars together and they put out their stuff, and she said: I feel that it is like a clique. And that really struck me, because I see the same thing, but I don’t really see it as a negative thing, I see it as a network thing. You have friends, you have personal friends; I have loads of business friends and I’m so happy to help them spread the word about their stuff and get the word out there, and that kind of thing. And so, I see having a network whether it is online or offline, as being a really important way of making yourself visible in your business because having that group of people, that can support you and spread the word about your stuff, is a really good way of making yourself more visible and getting out there to other people’s audiences.

 

• That leads me to the next sign, which is: no joint ventures. Joint ventures can be a really, really, good way of spreading the word about what you do to other people’s audiences. So, you know, if you have got a business friend who has got, you know, maybe a bigger list than you, or the same-size list but with different people, you can do a webinar with them, you can have them promote something to their list and that can be a really, really, useful way of opening yourself up to other audiences, and letting other people know about you. Now, I have a couple of friends that I have been thinking about doing a joint venture with for some time. And I have been putting it off, and I feel like I am finally at the point where I am ready to put something together and approach them; because, again, I am at the point where I feel that I am much more comfortable putting myself out there to another level. But, these are two people who I know their audiences would really, really, benefit from what I do. And I know that we are a really, really, good fit and my fear of making myself more visible has stopped me from putting myself out there and approaching these people to do a joint venture. So, think about the top three or five people that you know that have a similar audience to you, they work with similar type of people but they give a different solution, they do a different kind of work with them, and think about how you could approach them to do something together and cross-manage each other’s stuff or, you know, do webinar together, or send an email to you list, that kind of thing. So, not doing joint ventures, or not taking advantage of that, is another sign of fear of visibility and I have been guilty of that.

 

• The last one is no content. You know, some people have a website and that’s it. They don’t do videos, they don’t write blog posts, they don’t have podcasts, they don’t create any kind of content, that helps people get a feel for who they are, what they do, what they are like, what their energy is like, what their style is like, and it can be really, really hard just from a website that doesn’t have any other content, to get a feel for whether you want to work with someone or not. So, content is scary, so that’s putting yourself out there, and creating something that comes from the heart, and that shares about what you do, and of course if you create that content you are going to promote it. And that can be really scary. So, to me not creating any content is another really big sign of playing small, hiding, being invisible with your business.

 

So, what are the benefits of overcoming this hiding, and overcoming this fear of visibility?

Well, the benefits are many, obviously, your business will be thriving because you will have that steady stream of clients that you love, you will be able to help more people, you will be more satisfied with your business. You will feel really proud of yourself because your business will be growing and you will have that tribe of people who love what you do. You will have more freedom, you can do whatever you want, create the lifestyle you want. Have a healthy business that grows, and makes you feel successful and gives you peace of mind in life. There are so many benefits from overcoming this fear of visibility and that’s going to help you grow your business and build that tribe of people that love what you do. So, this is something that again I think you can’t really afford not to work on and look at.

So, how do you overcome this fear of visibility?

Now I think there are a lot of things that you need to look at. I am a big fan lately of journaling I have been doing a lot of that. I love writing and it is very natural for me to explore my thoughts and my fears – and my stuff – through writing, that may work for you, it might not. But, take a look at these questions:

#1 Look at what you procrastinate on; what kinds of things are you not taking action on that would really help you with your business? That would help you grow your business that would help you reach new markets of people and put yourself out there. What are you procrastinating on? Is it videos? Is it webinars? Is it doing a workshop? Is it public speaking? What are you procrastinating on? – number 1.

#2 What triggers your hiding? So, I have talked about a lot of stuff today. Different stuff, different things that I have been afraid of in the past, and you know different things that you see other people do. What triggers your hiding? What is it? Is it fear of trolls on your blog comments, or on social media? Is it fears of saying something silly, if you do a podcast, or speaking, or a webinar? Is it fear of technology? What is triggering this fear of visibility?

#3 Next, what scares you the most? And this is kind of related to the previous question? Is it standing up in front of a group of people, and speaking? Is it attracting lots of people to your mail/email list through webinars and Facebook ads and stuff and then seeing them unsubscribe? And a lot of people are really uncomfortable with unsubscribes. What scares you the most? What is the worst that could happen if you became really, really visible? Would you have haters? Would you have people writing you hate mail? Would you have…what scares you about being super-visible? And then look at other people, other business owners, that you admire online, what are they doing that would scare you but that you secretly know would help your business? Is it webinars? Is it video? Is it speaking? Is it doing a podcast? Is it running workshops? Retreats? Events? What is it that other women entrepreneurs are doing that scares the crap out of you, but yet you kind of like the idea of doing and know that it would help your business? But you are just feeling really stuck on it because it is scary? So, look at that.

So, really kind of build-up that description of what do you procrastinate on? What triggers your hiding? What scares you the most? What are other people doing that scares you? Really just dig up that stuff, because the more you hide that stuff the harder it is going to be to work on it. So, make a really big list of everything that is keeping you hiding, playing small and being invisible.

Next: think about what you would rather have instead. What would you really, really, like for your business if there were no limits, if there were no fears, if you were just fearless woman entrepreneur, who does her thing and everyone loves her. What would you be doing? Would you be doing workshops? Retreats? Events? Would you be speaking at big events, would you be speaking at a TED conference? Would you be doing videos? Would you have a YouTube channel? Would you be doing Periscope videos? What would you be doing? So, that’s really, really important. And, what would you like your business to look like as a result of not being invisible?

And then the last step is to do the mindset work. Now, I know, there is no easy solution to this, I really, really, believe that changing your mindset has to happen at the subconscious level because that’s where you can sabotage yourself. You can do so much work at the conscious level, but if your subconscious mind isn’t on board it could be sabotaging you, and I kind of hate that word, because it is really just trying to keep you safe. It is trying to help you stay in your comfort zone where it’s safe, and you’re invisible, and its quiet, and there is no one there and no one is really looking at you.

So, if you have got subconscious stuff going on around visibility you really, really, need to clear that up. So, start at the conscious level by asking yourself these questions and then look at what you would rather have instead; and then do that mindset work. So, you know like I have said, I work with a technique called Psych-k® which is super-fast, super-easy, it is amazing; but there are so many other things out there. Find what works for you, find what’s best for you; lots of people do tapping, or EFT, that’s theta-healing, there’s NLP, there’s hypnotherapy, there’s all kind of stuff that works at the deeper level and can help you transform your beliefs and your business mindset, and it can help you release and fears and blocks and stuff you have around being visible. Because I really think that being visible is so important in your business, because if people don’t know you exist, they are not going to be able to work with you. So, if your business is struggling, or going through feast and famine, or just pure famine, and you are really struggling to attract clients, that could be because you are amazing at what you do, but no one know about you. And you can’t attract your ideal clients to you, unless you’re putting yourself out there in a bigger way.

So, I hope you have found this useful, I feel like I am finally at a point where I can talk about this with you, because you know I have worked through all the stuff and I am finally seeing all the results. I am seeing myself take action in ways that I never took action before, because I was too damn scared. So, there you go. Again, hope you found this useful. I will have, I think I am going to prepare a download for this, like I have had with some of my other solo-episodes, so if you go to the show notes for this episode which will be at hollyworton.com/137 and I will have the show notes there, and I will also have a download link, where you can download a little worksheet that will help you go through the questions that I have put forth to you today.

So, I hope you have found this really, really, useful, the best of luck to you with your visibility, I would love to hear from you, so drop me an email: [email protected] and let me know how it’s going, let me know what kind of stuff that you are struggling with and what you really want to do, but you are so stuck on it. I would love to hear from you. So, thank you so much for joining me today, it was a pleasure to talk about visibility with you because like I said, it is a big issue for me and it is a big issue for my clients. So, thank you for joining us today, thank you for listening and remember to visit hollyworton.com/137 for the show notes on this episode. Thank you.