495 Holly Worton – When Your Adventures Test Your “Limits”

Transcript

Hello, Adventurers! And welcome to the Into the Woods podcast, episode 495. This is your host, Holly Worton, and I’m back with another solo episode. Today I’m going to talk about how adventures can teach you what you’re capable of and how they can help us to go beyond our perceived limits and how we can use them to grow in various ways. So we all have perceived limitations for ourselves. Perceived limitations are often self-imposed. They’re based on limiting beliefs that we’ve collected throughout life from ourselves and others. So a lot of times people will say things to us and we’ll take them on as truth.

Holly Worton [00:00:57]:

Sometimes life experiences will cause us to take on certain beliefs and they can be things like, oh, I can’t do that, I’m not good enough to do that. I’m not smart enough to do that, I’m not strong enough to do that. And these perceived limitations are also made up of our low self-esteem, our lack of self-confidence, our low self-worth, which again, is often caused by these limiting beliefs and inner fears. And our blocks also make this up. So things that we’re afraid of, whether that’s public speaking, which doesn’t really relate to outdoor adventures, but it’s such a common fear, fears of being alone in the outdoors or fears of doing certain types of activities, all these things make up our perceived limitations. And often our perceived limitations exist at the end of our comfort zone. So we exist in this really lovely, comfortable spot in life, doing all the things that we know how to do that we’re comfortable doing. And sometimes we don’t venture beyond that because we’ve got those perceived limitations.

Holly Worton [00:02:09]:

So these things are fine. They’re useful sometimes because they keep us comfortable and during times of stress and during times of anxiety and during times of difficult times, which life has been for a lot of us for the last few years, they can help because they keep us in that comfort zone and keep us from becoming even more distressed. So they do serve a purpose. But sometimes they keep us stuck in our comfort zone. And sometimes we’re so comfortable that we want to do things that are beyond that comfort zone, but it’s hard, so we don’t. And these perceived limitations can also hurt us by just preventing us from doing things that we’d like to try, doing things that we’re curious about, doing things that maybe we’ve seen other people do and we think, oh, I’d like to try that, but I’m not good enough. And they can also keep us stuck in situations that we’re afraid to move on from because we don’t think we deserve something better or different. They can also prevent us from making changes in our lives and taking risks.

Holly Worton [00:03:19]:

So while they are useful in some ways, sometimes they can keep us feeling stuck and frustrated in life. And like, things are boring and we wish we had exciting lives. But here we are, stuck in this place that we’re stuck at. So that’s when we can use adventures to help us break beyond those limiting beliefs and those self-perceived limitations, those situations where we think, I’m not good enough to do the thing. I talk about this all the time. But when we make these changes and when we expand our perception of what’s possible for us in one area of our lives, whether that’s walking, running, or whatever sport it is that you do, it can expand our perception of what’s possible for us in other areas of our lives. So we took this risk, or we did this scary thing, or we did this big thing that we didn’t think was good enough. And that helps us see other possibilities for ourselves in other areas of our life, whether that’s in personal relationships or professional relationships, or with our job or our business or whatever.

Holly Worton [00:04:37]:

And that’s a good thing, because it helps us see that we’re capable of doing things that maybe we thought we couldn’t do. And it helps us to try new things, and it makes it easier to try new things. So there are lots of things that I’ve done in my life that I didn’t think I could do. I remember when I was researching for my book on The Downs Link, which is a short trail that I did several times and actually wrote a book on it. It’s a 36.7 miles trail, that’s 59 miles. I did it, I split it up into three days. It’s very lovely. Three days. I stayed at B&Bs, and then I had two nights. And then eventually, a couple of years ago, when I was training for my first ultra, I did it in one day. And that was a massive leap because it was something that I didn’t think I could do.

Holly Worton [00:05:43]:

I remember when I was researching that book, there was someone on a blog post that I’d read about the Downs Link. The blog post where I actually first heard about the Downs Link. And this guy posted and said, oh, if you don’t have a lot of time or if you don’t can’t get time off work. I did it all in one day. And I remember thinking, how is that possible? Why would you do that? Why would you want to do that? That’s a really long day. Can you even enjoy it? And those are all questions that are different for every person. But for me, I chose to do it as a physical challenge, and I eventually did it in one day. And it was just mind-blowing to me that this walk that I had previously done in three days, I had done in one day.

Holly Worton [00:06:30]:

And it was like, how could my body do this? I was a few years older than I was when I had first done it in three days. And it just I don’t know. It was like, how was this possible? It just changed my perception of what I was capable of. And that same year was when I ran my first 100-kilometer race. And I remember, and I’ve told this story before when we first started watching videos of people running Ultras. I remember thinking, oh, that would be really nice, but I just, I’ll never be able to do that because I’m too old and I’m not good enough, and I’m just not a good enough runner and I’m too slow. And then I did it in July of 2021, I think it was. And that was one event that really, really expanded my perception of what was possible for me and what I was capable of doing.

Holly Worton [00:07:33]:

Because not only did I do it, but I enjoyed it. And it just got me thinking about what other things I might be able to do or might want to do that I thought that I couldn’t do. And then last year in December, I got my black belt. And that was another thing that I don’t know if I thought it wasn’t possible for me, but I definitely had the idea I might not be good enough to do this. I might not be strong enough to do this. I might not be good enough to get through the grading, which is a whole weekend of really intense fitness. And the training was really hard, and I was really scared a lot of times to go to class. I was scared of the sparring sessions.

Holly Worton [00:08:24]:

And the whole process of training for that grading really took me outside of my comfort zone and really helped me to see that my perceived limitations were not my real limitations. And that’s one of the things that they tried to do with the black belt grading. And I remember the week before the grading, when we had the grading practice, there was a handful of people from my school that were grading. It’s a bunch of schools that come together for the grading. And from my school, I think there were just five or six of us that were grading. It was all children and then me. I was the only adult. And after we did the grading practice, our teacher sat us down and said, this is going to be really challenging. This is going to push you beyond what you think you’re capable of.

Holly Worton [00:09:15]:

And one of our goals in the grading is to try to break you, to try to get you past that perceived limitation that was challenging. And it was really helpful to be working with someone else, to have a teacher, to have a trainer to push me, because a lot of times I’m not always good at pushing myself. And while I was able to do that with my long-distance walking and running, I don’t know if I could have gotten to where I was, where I am today without having that goal of the black belt and having a teacher who pushed me to get to that goal, to do the things that I needed to do. So there were lots of rounds of sparring with my teacher that were just really intense and really difficult and just a bit too much sometimes. But it wasn’t too much because I got through it. Ultimately, it was doable, and I did it, and I got to that level. So it was really useful to work with someone else to help me get beyond that level. So if you’re interested in moving beyond your perceived limitations, the first step is to get clear on what they are.

Holly Worton [00:10:48]:

Because I think a lot of times they’re kind of floating in the back of our minds, but we don’t necessarily know how to put words to them. It’s just kind of like this feeling like, oh, I can’t do that. But we don’t really know why. So I think one of the ways to do this is do some journaling or do some reflection and maybe make a list of all the things that you want to do, things you’ve been putting off because you don’t think you can do them. Make a list of all the things you think you’ll never be able to do for whatever reason. Maybe because you’re just not good enough, you’re not strong enough, you’re not fast enough, you’re not whatever, and write down why you think you can’t do them. So make the whole list, and then maybe go through with another color pen or pencil and write down why you think you can’t do them. What’s the belief that’s beyond that? And you might think that belief is reality.

Holly Worton [00:11:39]:

That’s fine. Write that down. Write down whatever reason it is you think you can’t do these things, and then you can expand upon that and write down all the beliefs you have around your ability to do these things. And that’ll help you get kind of an idea of what themes there are. So, like, your theme might be I’m not good enough, or I’m not strong enough, or whatever. And that will give you an idea of what your perceived limitations are. Now, the next question is, do you want to move beyond these limitations, or are you fine living with them for now? And that’s perfectly acceptable if you’re fine living with them. We’re not always ready to grow.

Holly Worton [00:12:23]:

We’re not always ready to move beyond these limitations. You might be fine, and that’s totally fine. And there might be a time in the future when you decide to move beyond them. So it’s just a matter of realizing where you are with these particular limitations and your perception of them. So finally, how can we move beyond these limitations and grow outside of our comfort zone and see new possibilities for ourselves? I think one of the easiest ways to do it is to get a coach. If you’re a runner, get a running coach. If you’re a cyclist, get a cycling coach. Whatever they can help us to stretch and grow and create plans.

Holly Worton [00:13:08]:

And they can help us with our goals. They can help us to set goals, they can help us create a plan to achieve those goals. If you can’t afford a coach, set yourself a goal and then see if you can Google a plan for it. So if you want to run a marathon or a certain length of ultra, just Google that distance and you will find plans to get there. As I said, it really helps to work with someone else. So in the same line of reasoning, you can take classes and courses and workshops and learn new things from someone else. And that can also help you grow in whatever your adventure or activity is and learn how to do new things. So thinking back to, I don’t know, several years ago, I think it was 2018, I wanted to do wild camping, but I didn’t know how and I didn’t know what gear I needed and I didn’t know how to do it and I didn’t know what I didn’t know.

Holly Worton [00:14:05]:

So I just Googled wild camping course and I signed up for one. And then a lot of the outdoor courses that I’ve taken since then have also really helped with that. I’ve learned the things I needed to learn to do different types of adventures and to grow outside of the adventures that I was doing. I recently did an episode on Armchair Adventures and being inspired by others, and so watching videos and reading books and reading blog posts about the adventures that other people have can help you to see what’s possible for you and can help you learn the things you need to learn to try those things yourself. Finally setting goals for yourself that feel like a stretch to achieve is a really easy way. If you currently run X amount of miles, then sign up for whatever the bigger goal is in some kind of race. So if you’re currently running, I don’t know, ten k, then sign up for a half marathon. If you’re currently running half marathon distances, sign up for a marathon.

Holly Worton [00:15:11]:

It’s just a matter of signing up for something really, really helps because it gives you a hard deadline that you have to train for. And that’s really useful because I think a lot of times if we set self-imposed deadlines, that’s not as serious because nothing happens if we don’t achieve it. Whereas if you’ve got an event to train for, that really, really helps. And then finally, mindset work. And I’m always a big fan of doing mindset work and I’ve talked about it a thousand times on this podcast. But doing mindset work to help release those limiting beliefs and those fears and those blocks just makes it easier to do. So always work with someone else if you can, or work with yourself. I’m using site K with myself all the time.

Holly Worton [00:16:01]:

I mean, I’ve done it about three times this week. Like, sat down and had, like, a mini session with myself this week, and that’s because I’ve had a particularly challenging week for various reasons, and so I’ve just been kind of journaling and doing some psyche with myself to help with that. So again, do the mindset work with yourself or do it with someone else? It can help to work with someone else because they can help you see the things that you might not see, but both ways work really well. So I hope you found this episode interesting and useful, and I hope it will help you become aware of your perceived limitations, to become aware of whether or not you want to stretch beyond them right now or in the future, and then how to do so. So please drop me a line and let me know what you thought of this week’s episode. You can email me at [email protected] or find me online and get in touch there. Let me know. What are your perceived limitations? How have you overcome your perceived limitations in the past? I find that really, really interesting, so let me know if you enjoyed this episode.

Holly Worton [00:17:08]:

You might want to check out these related episodes:

• 493 I talk about the benefits of armchair adventures.
• 490 I ask the question, how bad do you want it? Finding motivation for your adventures?
• 488 I talk about when your adventures scare you.
• 486 I discuss how outdoor adventures help us to get comfortable with being uncomfortable and that’s a big part in moving beyond our perceived limitations is being okay with the discomfort that can come.
• 478 I talk about the importance of showing up for your adventures and finally
• 471 I talk with Brad Borkin about goal setting for adventures in life. And again, I think goal setting is a really big part of moving beyond our perceived limitations. It can really help. So next week’s episode is going to be an exciting interview.

Holly Worton [00:17:59]:

I’ve got four really good interviews lined up for the next four episodes that I think you’ll really enjoy. So back to the interviews. Remember to visit Hollyworton.com/495 for the show notes on this episode. Happy trails to you.