I wanted to share with you more details of the process I use when working on my own business mindset. It’s become second nature to me over the years, and I know that it’s not how most people are used to operating, so I though it might be interesting and useful for me to break down how I do it. I often share the following process on my podcast and webinars:
- Get clear on what you want
- What’s stopping you
- Explore fears/blocks/beliefs
- Do the mindset work
And as a kind of expansion on points 1-3, I recommend that people explore the following questions:
- What do you believe?
- What fears/blocks do you have?
- What do you NEED to believe?
- Who do you need to be?
Recently I’ve been feeling uncomfortable about my lack of inclusion in the work that I do. You probably know that I work with women entrepreneurs to help them transform their business mindset, but of course I also work with men. There are, however, three areas of my business and life that have remained exclusively for women: my private Facebook group, my Meetup group for women walkers, and my Business Mindset Podcast.
Get clear on what you want
Table of Contents
I started my podcast precisely because, back in 2013, I was looking for a podcast that interviewed women entrepreneurs exclusively, and I couldn’t find one. I was listening to Natalie Sisson’s Suitcase Entrepreneur podcast, and Entrepreneur On Fire, and a whole bunch of other ones, but I really just wanted to hear a bunch of stories from women. And I couldn’t find that back in 2013 (how times have changed!), so I started my own show.
I had been wanting to create a kind of women’s circle for some time, and never managed to do it for one reason or another, and so I’m really happy to have my She Walks In Nature Meetup group as a way to connect with women in a non-business way. It’s so nice to hang out with women in nature and not talk about business all the time! The walking group is kind of fulfilling my dream of running a women’s circle.
And then there’s my Facebook group. I guess I made it women-exclusive because that’s what the focus of my business is. And yet I was slightly uncomfortable with it being closed to men from the beginning. A coaching friend of mine asked to join, and I had to tell him that it was for women only. That felt crappy, but I figured it was just the universe testing me on my boundaries.
What’s stopping you
The reality is that I’m sure very few men actually follow me online, but I know there are at least a couple who listen to my podcast and who show up for my webinars, and I felt crappy about not including them. So I asked my Mastergut group what they thought, and they were very supportive of my idea to open up my Facebook group, so I planned to do it…without a set date in mind.
I was worried about making changes in the group, and alienating people who might not be comfortable with changing the group guidelines. I remembered the backlash from when Leonie Dawson made the announcement that she was opening up her Academy to men, and I didn’t want to deal with that crap. Basically, I just didn’t want to deal with criticism about the change.
Now that I’m starting to talk about my Redefining Visibility adventure, I realized that this was the time to open my group up to men. I don’t want to exclude people from this free experience, and I didn’t want to create a separate Facebook group to run it. I wanted to make it part of my existing Facebook group. So, last night, after my webinar with Ruby McGuire on how to Get the Mindset You Need to Create Deeper Connections Online, I posted the announcement in my Facebook group that I was opening it to men. And I closed the post to commenting.
And then I kind of freaked out.
Explore fears/blocks/beliefs
I’m sharing this because this is a pretty minor business decision, and yet it brought up crap for me. I want to show you the specific fears, blocks, and limiting beliefs that I have around a minor business issue, and explain why I do the mindset work on all the little things that come up for me in business. Because if I’ve got ickiness around something so small, I can guarantee you my fears and limiting beliefs will be blocking bigger stuff in my business. Here’s what came up for me:
- I was afraid of people criticizing me for my decision
- I was afraid of people leaving the group because they didn’t want to engage with men there
- I was afraid of people confronting me and questioning the change
- I was afraid of people talking shit about me elsewhere online
Do the mindset work
I sat down this morning and did some combination work: first, I created some belief statements and I balanced them with PSYCH-K®. Then, I focused on shifting blocks in my energy centers using Heart-centered Energy Work®. Here are the specific belief statements that I balanced for:
- I confidently make decisions in my business.
- I confidently make changes in my business.
- I’m confident about sharing the changes in my business with others.
- It’s safe and appropriate for me to make changes in my business.
- It’s safe and appropriate for people to leave my circle when I’m no longer right for them.
- I’m open to seeing people leave me when I’m no longer right fro them.
- I rejoice when people leave me because I’m no longer right for them.
- It’s safe and appropriate for people to disagree with me.
- It’s safe and appropriate for people to criticize me.
And then with HEW™, I started with the heart center (as we always do), then I worked with the sacral center, and finally the throat center. I always identify the specific centers to work on using intuition (and sometimes muscle testing when I’m not sure), but this work was all about feeling grounded and working with my personal power and also my communication and connections with others.
Second round
I may revisit this topic for a second round of work if I feel like I still have icky stuff around this topic (at the moment, I think it’s taken care of). If I want to dig deeper, I can use these questions to explore the topic once again:
- What do you believe?
- What fears/blocks do you have?
- What do you NEED to believe?
- Who do you need to be?
Let me know if you have any questions about this process. I’m happy to help, and even expand on this blog post if needed.
