253: Joanna Hennon + Holly ~ How to Get What You Really, Really Want… When Wanting Isn’t Enough

Today’s Guest

More About Joanna Hennon

Listen to this episode

    

What You’ll Learn

• Why you have to really, really want it
• The difference between wanting and “choosing for” something
• Why things are in flow when what we choose for is what’s aligned for us
• If you’re really focused on making something work, how is that different from hustle?
• The difference between goals and intentions
• Why you have to be super clear on what the ACTUAL goal is (hint: it might not be what you think it is)
• How to get clear on what your soul wants you to do – and why this is key
• Why you need to align the superconscious, conscious, and subconscious
• Why you have to do the inner work first to create a foundation
• Why you need to feel high vibe and what does that actually mean
• How to bounce back from setbacks along the way
• How goal setting is different from manifesting
• Do you need to put everything else on hold when focusing on something?

Things We Discussed

• The Secret
• The Soul Space
• Heart-centered Energy Work®

Connect with Joanna

• Website
• Facebook
• Twitter
• Pinterest

How to Subscribe

• Click here to subscribe via iTunes
• Click here to subscribe via RSS
• Click here to subscribe via Stitcher

 

Help Spread the Word

If you enjoyed this episode, please head on over to iTunes and kindly leave us a rating and a review! You can also subscribe, so you’ll never miss an episode.

Related episodes

• 361 Cara Wilde ~ How to Take the Brakes Off Your Personal Growth
• 335 Holly Worton ~ What Does A Fulfilling Life Look Like To You?
• 329 Joanna Hennon + Holly ~ How To Get Past Your Addiction To Busyness
• 325 Holly Worton ~ Life Planning + Goals for Each Decade of Your Life
• 306 Holly Worton ~ How To Create New Habits That Last

Transcript

The transcript for this episode can also be downloaded here (no opt-in required).

Holly:  Hello and welcome to the Business Mindset Podcast, episode 253. This is your host Holly Worton, and I am back with another co-hosted episode with the fabulous Joanna Hennon. Today, we ask the question: is wanting something really enough? As business owners we all create visions for our business, we set goals, we create action, sometimes we achieve those goals, and sometimes we don’t; but is wanting something enough to actually make it happen. Is setting SMART goals enough and are SMART goals really smart? And, if they are not, what should we be doing instead? So those are some of the things that we explore on today’s episode.

But before we get into this conversation, I wanted to mention a podcast that I was recently a guest on. It is the productivityist podcast and Mike Vardy, the host, and I, talked about the Workcation Weekend. This is something I have been talking about every once in a while, on other podcasts, because it is a concept that I really, really, love, because it is totally transformed my business, and it has allowed me to write books, create new websites, and really enter into hyper-focus mode and get big projects done, in short periods of time. So, if you head over to: http://HollyWorton.com/productivityist you will find this episode and I hope you enjoy it, I think it is a really great podcast, if you are struggling with productivity, or if you are doing well with productivity but you would like to do a little bit better, subscribe to that podcast, it has got loads of information and if you sign up to support Mike on Patreon you get extra stuff. He does an extra mini-episode with each of the people that he interviews every week, so highly recommend the show, do check it out. That’s http://HollyWorton.com/productivityist.

So, back to today. Some of the things we you are going to learn today, we are going to talk about:

• Why you have to really, really want this thing you are going for.
• We talk about the difference between wanting and “choosing for” something.
• We talk about why things are in flow, when what we choose for is the same thing that’s aligned for us, and why it can be really difficult when the thing that we want is not aligned.
• We ask the question: if you’re really focused on making something work, and achieving this goal, or achieving this vision, and you are really, really, focussed on taking lots of action on it, how is that different from hustle?
• We talk about the difference between goals and intentions, and we talk about SMART goals.
• We talk about why you have to be super clear on what the real goal is, because it might not be what you think it is, and why you have got to sometimes dig deeper when setting goals or intentions.
• We discuss how to get clear on what your soul wants you to do – and why this is so key.
• Why you need to align the superconscious, the conscious, the subconscious and why all three of these bits need to come into play.
• We discuss why you have to do the inner work first, to create a foundation on which to make stuff happen.
• We discuss why you need to feel high vibe throughout this whole process and what does that actually mean – that’s really kind of airy fairy, a woo-sounding term, that I never really understood until the last couple of weeks when I started really focussing on something that I am trying to bring into creation.
• We talk about how to bounce back from setbacks along the way.
• We discuss how goal setting is different from manifesting.
• And we ask the question when you are really, really focussing on something like I am, do you need to put everything else on hold? How do you live your normal life when you are really, really, focussed on something?

So, those are the things that we discussed this week, and I hope you find this episode really, interesting and useful, we think it is one of the best ones that we have done so far, we really got into it, and it is quite an extended episode.

So, I hope you find it useful, please let me know what you thought, onto the episode.

 

Holly: Hello Joanna!

Joanna: Hi Holly!

Holly: How are you?

Joanna: I’m good, how are you?

Holly: Good! So, today we are talking about is wanting something really enough?

Joanna: I would like to think so, I would love for the answer to this to be yes.

Holly: I am so tempted to sing that Spice Girls song {laughing}

Joanna: Oh yeah! No let’s not! {laughing} I think this is really important to talk about now, because over the years there has been just so much manifesting information talked about and discussed online, and I think we all have access to a lot of these things, the books and the courses and whatever. And, yet, it is kind of the same as our conversation about the transformational tools, and yet a lot of us are not actually getting what we want, so we go through all these kind of manifesting formulas, and processes, and everything else and they are not working, right?

Holly: And I feel like The Secret was what really, really, kicked this off. Very few people…I know I had never heard of law of attraction before that, and that sparked a massive wave of awareness of this kind of type of manifesting, and the word manifesting. I don’t know, were people talking about manifesting before that? I don’t remember.

Joanna: I don’t think so, to be totally honest I only watched The Secret about two months ago.

Holly: Oh wow.

Joanna: Yeah so that’s not how it stated for me, I kind of resisted watching it because I heard from all these people that it was quite basic, and I kind of wanted to make up my own mind about the law of attraction and kind of explore on my own and experiment on my own, and have my own conclusions, before I was led by this very general thing. So, I only watched it a couple of months ago and actually I really loved it, so with the understanding that I had by then, I was able to watch it and really, really, love it.

Holly: Yeah. There is so much criticism of it, but I think it is such a great film and book because it helps you change your mindset, at the conscious level, but I think it is a massive shift for people, instead of focussing on what you don’t want, focus on what you do want. That’s so basic and yet so many people do not do it.

Joanna: I agree, I think it is a great kind of introduction to the concept, but I think where it fails is that it oversimplifies, and it doesn’t really take you further or give you options for going further, and you have to kind of kind of look for yourself, and that brings us to the topic of today’s conversation, right? Because, The Secret does kind of imply that wanting something is enough. As I told you, when we talked about this earlier today, for example, I have been wanting to lose weight for years, and yet it doesn’t seem to be enough.

Holly: {laughing} Me too!

Joanna: So, and I am sure there are other examples, I am sure everybody has examples of stuff, or experiences or whatever, that they have wanted, they have really, really, wanted, and they haven’t come to be. So, what’s going on?

Holly: And, I think there are many examples of things we have wanted, and taken action towards, and still haven’t achieved it, or still haven’t gotten it.

Joanna: So, I think there is a lot of deeper stuff to talk about when we talk about creating with intention, creating our own reality, and all that kind of thing but today we are going to tackle just one teeny, weeny, piece, which is that wanting piece. So, what do you think Holly, is wanting something really enough, and if not, then what’s missing?

Holly: So much is missing! I don’t think it is enough and I definitely think it is a start you have to know what you want, and I think you have to really, really, want it and I think you also have to do, as I always say, for me it is a two-pronged approach: you have got to take the practical action, but you are also got to do the mindset stuff to get your mindset in gear to achieve that thing. However, there have been many times in the past where I have taken the action, I have done the mindset work, and I still haven’t achieved something.

Joanna: Yes, well, I think it’s time for you to share your big goal that you are currently manifesting with us, because this is going to be a totally different story, right? So sometime soonish, hopefully, you will be sharing with us how this time it all worked. So, why don’t you tell us a bit about that?

Holly: Yes. So, people that know me well, and people that have followed me on Instagram, probably know that I go to a place called Avebury every month; and I have been going there, last year I was going there every other month, and then I stepped it up to every month. It is the largest stone circle in Europe and it is one of my favourite places, I love the land, I love the walking, I love everything about it. And ever since August of last year, I have been staying at this one B&B that I really like. I love the B&B hostess she is just lovely, we always sit down and have tea or wine, and just chat; and I love the house, I love her garden, I love the view, I love everything about it. And the last time I was there, she mentioned that she was putting the house on sale, and she had put the house on the market that same day, and so I said to her: how much are you selling it for, because I want to buy it? And this was two weeks ago, it wasn’t that long ago, and ever since then my number one focus has been doing everything I can do, both the inner work, and the outer work, to buy this house, because I know at a very deep level that is our house and we will move in there, but I am walking the steps now between thinking about it and moving into it. So, that has been my main focus for the last two weeks.

Joanna: And that is how this conversation started, right? So, it is one thing to say: Oh, great house, I would really love to live there, oh universe deliver. It is a totally different thing to do what you are doing, right? Which is: I really want it, it is mine, and I am going to throw everything at it.

Holly: Yeah.

Joanna: Not at the house at the goal. {Both: laughing Holly: we will just keep the house clean!} So, what’s the difference, what’s the difference between how you have usually approached things that you have wanted, because you have wanted stuff before obviously, and now? What is the difference do you think, what going to make this time different?

Holly: This is huge! It is like nothing I have ever experienced before, because first of all I have never had that sensation of, this thing, this big thing is mine, I just need to figure out how to get it. It is so different from any other goal I have ever set, or every other thing that I wanted. I know at this really deep level that it is ours, even though I don’t know how to make it happen…yet. And this has been, thank you for correcting me, because these last two weeks have been like non-stop getting help with this, from you, and from other professionals, working with myself, and just paying attention to every single detail, and paying attention to every single detail of my mindset. And being really precise about this.

Joanna: And I think it is that level of focus, and that level of detail, of attention to detail, that is going to produce a different result, that’s certainly been my experience as well. And I think it takes it…I always talk about the word “want” as an ego word, so in fact it is not a really great word, it is word to describe a two-year old’s temper tantrum: “I want it, it should be mine”.

Holly: Yeah: I want the house… {whining voice}

Joanna: But it is not kind of a word of willingness to go for. Right? So, want is an ego word, and what’s the soul equivalent? The soul level equivalent is “choose for”. So, when you go into that, instead of saying “I want the house”, if you choose for the house then that immediately leads you into action, right? Whether that’s mindset energy work, or physical action, it leads you into that space, because you are choosing for that. I think that’s really a key element and maybe you guys who are listening if there is something that you want, that hasn’t manifested, or that you feel hasn’t manifested fast enough, ask yourself: are you choosing for it? And are you choosing for it every day? Because Holly is doing all this stuff every day, she is choosing for this house, she is choosing to focus her time and her energy on making this happen, or on allowing this to happen and on raising her vibration to match the vibration of something really big.

Holly: Yea, and it feels like a full-time job, obviously I am doing my normal work in running my business in the background, and writing my books, but I’m spending a lot of time on this.

Joanna: And maybe we should talk about: is that a good thing? I don’t think we want to say, or agree with, this collective belief that we have here on earth, that you have to make something happen, and that you make that something happen through hard work. So, “like a full-time job” isn’t maybe great energy, right? Are you hustling Holly, what’s the difference?

Holly: And that is something that has popped into my head, because I am so anti-hustle and I have avoided the hustle in my business, and I think: well, is that what I am doing now? And is that a bad thing? And should I be doing something else? It feels so good, it is so exciting, it is like everything I do I am like: ooh I am going to shift this, and I am going to adjust this, and then I am going to do a few more beliefs, and then I need to call the mortgage guy and then I need to send the data to my accountant, because he is doing my taxes…but it is like exciting, it is fun. It doesn’t have that same push, push, push energy that I have felt in the past when I was aware of hustling in my business. So, let’s talk about what is hustle?

Joanna: Yeah, we actually looked it up, because we asked this question in our preparation call earlier today, and we got a little bit stuck so we actually looked up what hustle means, and hustle is defined as to: to push roughly, jostle, bump, knock, shove, nudge, elbow, shoulder. It is a forceful action word.

Holly: It is kind of a violently forceful action word.

Joanna: It is, isn’t it? {Both: laughing}

Holly: No wonder I hate that word!

Joanna: As we looked that up, we were also reminded that in slang, in North American slang, it also has a fraud element to it, so to hustle someone isn’t a good thing; you are basically cheating them or persuading them to do something that they don’t want to do.

Holly: Or conning them. Exactly.

Joanna: But anyway, it is something to pay attention to if we are talking about the vibration of words and language, right? So, I don’t think you are hustling! {laughing}

Holly: Good! {laughing}

Joanna: But I think it is interesting to notice the differences, you really nailed in in what you just said, in that you said it feels good, and I think that’s the key.

Holly: But it is a very different level of focus than I have ever had on anything before. It is like a horse with blinders, it is like I can’t see anything else, I can just see this one goal and intention and it is like I am going for it, because I can’t see anything else.

Joanna: The word that just came to me for that is not hustle but commitment.

Holly: Yeah.

Joanna: So, you have to be… just wanting something isn’t enough, right? Choosing for, will mean that you are committed, because if you are choosing for in every moment, then you are committed to becoming the person that can do, whatever it is that you want to do, buy that house, make that move, make that million, whatever it is.

Holly: It is like I am totally devoted to this house.

Joanna: So, what are you, listener, committing, to or not committing to? What are you devoted to? I think that devotion word is a great one to play with as well. I am not convinced that I am yet completely devoted to creating what I say I want, and I think that makes a huge, huge, huge, huge, difference.

Holly: It does.

Joanna: The commitment piece I think I have, but the devotion piece I am not sure, I am going to explore that later today.

Holly: And I have never felt this before. Like, I am not one of those type A driven people. And so, I have never felt this level of devotion before, to a goal or an intention.

Goal and intentions – the difference

Joanna: Interesting. Is it time maybe to talk about the difference between a goal and an intention, we talked about this briefly?

Holly: I think this is a really important difference that we need to call out here.

Joanna: Yeah, so, the way I understand it, is that when you set a goal, there is a question of whether you can reach it or not, and when you set an intention you know that it is inevitable, like, there is no doubt. And the difference we identified is the deadline, right?

Holly: Yeah, a goal is always time-bound, it always has its deadline.

Joanna: And in fact, that’s what we are taught to do, right? We are taught to set ‘SMART’ goals.

Holly: Smart goals, yes.

Joanna: Right, and with that there should be a deadline, otherwise you can’t measure it and all this stuff. Oh my god SMART goals are stupid!

Holly: I was just thinking that in my mind. So, I was like: if SMART goals are smart, does that mean that intentions are stupid? {laughing}

Joanna: Oh, my goodness!! we need a different acronym.

Holly: I know.

Joanna: I think we should do that – watch this space for different goal-related acronyms. So, a goal has that doubt, because you are striving to achieve something, but you are not entirely sure that you are going to achieve it, you are hustling or working hard, to achieve that goal by a certain deadline; and if you don’t make it by the deadline you fail. You fail in achieving the goal, and that doesn’t feel good.

Holly: No!

Joanna: Nobody likes to not achieve their goals, right? Whereas when you set an intention you know that it will happen, like we know that this house is yours, but there is no timeline.

Holly: As I hear you say that, it is like part of me knows that you are right, because I know that that’s how this house is going to work out, but another part of me, the part of me that trained as a coach, and trained how to help people set SMART goals, is like: you are never going to get it if you don’t set your SMART goal with your milestones, and your deadline, and if you don’t have a deadline it is never going to happen. I know that deadlines have helped me in the past. There is a part of me that is like: yes, I know you are right, and there is a part of me that is like: but it has to be structured.

Joanna: I like structure as well and I think setting milestones and stuff like that can be useful to keep you moving, because otherwise you kind of end up in this no man’s land of waiting for something to happen. But I think – we just discovered this difference in this piece in our preparatory conversation, so we are kind of exploring it live with you – but that no timeline piece came about because we were talking about detaching from the outcome, and how, if it is it even possible to desire something, and to be committed and devoted to it in that all-encompassing way, and then being detached from the outcome doesn’t make any sense. And then, what we were saying about Holly’s house was that there is no timeline, then if she doesn’t get it now, it doesn’t mean that she was wrong in feeling that it was hers, right? Maybe somebody else will buy it, and Holly will buy it from them.

Holly: Yeah.

Joanna: So, that’s kind of detaching from that very specific time-driven timeline, and maybe that’s where the divine timing piece comes in, I don’t know.

Holly: Yeah and that’s so hard to accept, because we are so hardwired be like: I want it, and I want it now!

Joanna: It is hard to accept. I think you have to set a deadline for yourself, otherwise why would you be putting in all that commitment now, it does drive you a little bit.

Holly: Yeah, I want it by summer, because you guys come to visit, and I want us all to be having dinner in the conservatory and out in the garden.

Joanna: {laughing} We are putting this out there now.

Holly: Universe! {laughing}

Joanna: My family and I are taking a trip to the UK, and to Ireland, this July and on our way back we are going to be staying at Holly’s B&B, in Avebury.

Holly: Yes! Hear that universe {laughing}

Joanna: I think you have to work it out for yourself, I am really against, as you I know you are, Holly, formulas and whatever, you can’t actually give anybody a formula for how to make something happen, you do have to be very aware of yourself, and your needs, and what kind of drives you forward. So, I recently realised that I really need a goal. Otherwise, for the past few months I haven’t really been putting myself out there at all, because I didn’t have anything to work towards, and now, kind of, I have this kind of new dream, I feel all kind of riled up again…I am going to do this and this and it is making me put myself out there, because I know I am creating thing that I really want to experience. So, I have a timeframe.

Holly: Yeah, exactly, and the same thing happened to me with my writing, once I decided that I was going to release quarterly books, quarter 1 has already gone, but I have got three books planned for quarter 2, quarter 3, quarter 4, and that has got me excited, and I just spent the last weekend on a Workcation weekend, working on the book for Q2. So, I like that structure too, and it really helps me plan and take action.

Joanna: So, you just need to know yourself, what keeps you taking action and stepping out into maybe bits that are uncomfortable and doing the things that will move you forward.

Holly: Yeah.

Joanna: And at the end of the day, what feels good to you? Because for some people that structure will be great, and for some people it just won’t work, and there is no one way. I think, if we are talking about energy and vibration, then the most important thing is that it feels good to you.

Holly: Yeah, as you are taking action, because there is a part of me that hears you that it feels good, I am thinking that there is going to be someone listening to this who is going to be like: lying down on my coach and staring at the ceiling feels good to me! {laughing}

Joanna: Okay, maybe we need to quantify, or qualify, whatever the word, and get clearer on what that means. It is not just feeling good in general, yeah, lying down…although lying down on a coach and looking at the ceiling is also fine.

Holly: If you are visualising.

Joanna: Even not! Maybe if that’s what you want to do today…

Holly: Maybe you need a break.

Joanna: That’s right, I think that you still need to feel good, but you need to feel good about your goal, right? If you are manifesting and you are trying to create something really specific, and something really big, like a house, or a big international move, or something like that, then you are not going to be feeling good if nothing is happening towards that, you are not. And if you are, then maybe you don’t want it as much as you say you do. So, you have to be feeling good about how you are moving forward towards your goal, no?

Holly: Yeah, yeah, yeah and you have to be moving… there has to be some kind of momentum forwards. I think that’s what I meant when I said: it can’t feel good to be just lying looking at the ceiling.

Joanna: You mean like for a week at a time.

Holly: Yeah, exactly, there has to be some kind of movement forward, I think.

Joanna: I like Netflix days, you know, and I don’t judge myself for that any more, but I imagine, I have never had the need for that to continue for a long period of time, but I imagine that by day 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9…it won’t feel good anymore and then I’ll be ready to take some more action, and that’ll feel good. It might not feel good to you to take action every single day, it might go in peaks and troughs.

Holly: Yep, you might need downtime, you might need recovery time.

Joanna: But that’s why it is so important to have this awareness of how things work for you, and you can’t know that until you start experimenting and paying attention, right?

Holly: And you have to be hyper-self-aware throughout the entire process, because I know in the last two weeks I have become so even more self-aware of my mindset, and where I am, and when I have a setback – and I have had setbacks, I would say every single day I have had at least one small setback and that has dragged me down. But I have chosen to lift myself up, by either doing more mindset work, or taking another action, or by seeing other possibilities, or by brainstorming other options. I have taken action to choose to bring my mindset up to a higher vibration.

Joanna: That’s the commitment piece, right? I mean, that’s the choice and the commitment so everybody is going to have setbacks. I can imagine with my goal as well, I am going to have setbacks, because it is a really big thing. I might as well tell everybody…?

Holly: Yeah, might as well, {laughing} since we are coming clean about our crazy goals.

Joanna: I am sounding a bit vague! So, I want to buy a house in Ireland, currently we are thinking of going, and I want to buy that mortgage free, so I want to pay cash and it is not a small house, let’s just be clear {laughing} but I have my needs.

Holly: You have your standards.{laughing}

Joanna: That I am not willing to compromise on it! We have a few years to do this but that’s for me a really, really, huge, huge, goal. I have never been the one with loads of money in the bank, let’s say, so this is a big thing for me to put that together. I imagine that there will be setbacks, if you don’t choose to move forward, or to get your vibration back up, then you are not committed to the goal. That’s not a bad thing, again…is it something that you want, you have to keep… when I think about commitment and like re-committing I think of the hand-fasting project, which is the old pagan traditional way of marrying someone. All my messages now, I am like: I am just going to skip that bit, because that doesn’t excite me… I am not going to tell anybody I am going to skip that bit. Whenever I took a course and there was a self-love kind of module at the start, I am like: I am going to skip the good bits! {laughing}.

Holly: {laughing}

Joanna: I don’t care for…I am sure I am fine {laughing}. So, it doesn’t come naturally, for sure, don’t beat yourself up, if you are like me, and don’t want to do the self-love stuff, because that’s actually the biggest part of the work, the biggest piece, right?

Holly: Yeah!

Joanna: Then everything else has an opportunity to fall into place, that’s your place of power, your personal power comes from that, comes from you.

Holly: Yeah.

Joanna: Comes from your heart, as in Holly’s process, and the heart-centred-energy-work.

Staying high vibe

Holly: So, one thing that I had learned…I had heard this for years, about staying high vibe as you are manifesting stuff, but I never really understood what that meant until the last two weeks of doing this work. So, why is it so important to feel high vibe, high vibration, and what the heck does that mean? And I think you have a really different perspective on this, that you received from your guides? So, talk to us about that, what is high vibe, and what is it not?

Joanna: Yeah, so it is not what most people think it is, which is excitement. I mean we are meant to follow our highest excitement, yes. So, if you have choices of what to do, what to create, whatever, follow your highest excitement and you will know instinctively what that is. But that’s not actually high vibration. To be of a high vibration is to be confident and kind of be rooted in your power. My guides said that the high vibration is a stable energy, it is a sustainable, calm, stable, energy, it is not that excitement. You need the excitement, they said, to lift off, I think we were working with the rocket {laughing}

Holly: The rocket analogy? {laughing}

Joanna: So, you need that excitement to take off, to lift off, but what’s going to keep you in the air, let’s say, and move you further, is that stable high vibration energy. At the end of the day what’s high vibration, it is love, joy, it is that, it boils down to that. So, to stay high vibration, it doesn’t mean to ignore your negative thoughts, and just make sure that you just are positive thinking…all that kind of thing, to stay high vibration means to do the things that make you feel powerful and confident, in your power. So, mindset work, is a great example, because when you do your mindset work, you feel like you have like you are proactive in what’s happening rather than just reactive, right?

Holly: Yeah, and you are focussing on what you do want rather than what you don’t want. So, when the setbacks come, and you start to feel disappointed and your vibe goes down, because you are like: {whining voice} ah this is never going to happen because… then you have got to stop and choose: I am going to lift myself up again, by doing some mindset work by taking some action, whatever. And that helps you get that momentum going again and getting that vibe up and getting that confidence up.

Joanna: So, it is that power piece, right? Your explanation of that falling vibration was exactly right, because we say: {whining voice} it’s never going to happen! And that’s just saying, what’s behind that? When we say that it’s never going to happen it means?

Holly: I’m not good enough.

Joanna: I’m not good enough and there’s something beyond my control that will keep this at bay, so it is impossible for me to do anything about it from my vantage point.

Holly: Yeah, because you are putting the power outside yourself, and you can’t afford to stay in that vibration for too long, you have got to choose to make another decision and lift yourself up. You can’t indulge that crappy crap.

Joanna: You don’t want to do you, it doesn’t make you feel good.

Holly: No, it really takes you off track.

Joanna: Maybe you can indulge it for a little bit, but I definitely commit to choosing something different, to choosing to feel better, and I will say, because I think it is overwhelming, and I don’t know, we are only human right?

Holly: Mm…

Joanna: All right there is something there as well…

Holly: That might be a limiting belief?

Joanna: …but not today. We are, it is okay to feel the negative emotions, those are clues, right? So, again, if you say: it is never going to happen, are you going to choose for it, or are you going to choose to do something else? And keep in mind that if it is overwhelming to say to yourself that you have to stay in this high vibration, powerful, confident space, all the time, you don’t! You just have to stay in it more often than you don’t. So, it is like the percentage game…

Holly: Yeah.

Joanna: {laughing} 51% of the time.

Holly: Is 51% enough?

Joanna: I don’t know…I have never tested it to that amount of detail, but I know that I have manifested sold out masterminds, and stuff like that, even though I would have plenty of days when I felt: that it is never going to happen, and then people signed up at the last minute. So, I am just saying not to give up, if you have those days, or even if you notice that you are having a lot of those days, then you want to look at the patterns and change your beliefs, then you can work with Holly, or you can work with me, you can work with someone else to do that, or, you know, tackle them on your own.

Holly: Yeah, yeah.

Joanna: So yes, recognise the patterns but if you have a bad that’s okay.

Holly: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is not like everything has gone to hell because you spent all day watching Netflix and eating ice cream. So, we keep throwing around the word manifesting, and I know that we have kind of addressed this already today, but I feel like we need to spell it out for people, like: what is the difference between manifesting and goal setting.

Difference between manifesting and goal setting

Joanna: You ask good questions Holly.

Holly: That’s why we are here, to have a good conversation {laughing} so you can answer these questions.

Joanna: It is not the same thing at all.

Holly: No, it’s not.

Joanna: They are totally different. Manifesting is creating.

Holly: Creating your reality.

Joanna: Creating your reality, so everything in your life, look around whatever I seem to have manifested an enormous mess in my office.

Holly: Time for me to come and visit. {laughing}

Joanna: Yes… So, manifesting is creating your reality and you do that whether you think you are doing that, or not. What we are talking about here, in fact, is not manifesting, it is manifesting with intention, which is slightly different. Manifesting is allowing – the way I think of it – it is allowing things into your experience, into your reality. So, the way I explain it to clients, it is not that, you know, you want a Ferrari and one will kind of magically appear in front of you, right? It is that you are allowing something into your experience. So, right now, whatever it is that you want, you are keeping it at bay because of old beliefs, or conflicting beliefs, or whatever it is, and actually whatever that is. Once you allow it into your experience, you will see it. It has always been there, most likely, but you will be able to see it, that’s kind of how I talk about it in terms of manifesting the right opportunities, or whatever. We are not creating clients out of thin air.

Holly: Yeah, exactly.

Joanna: We are seeing them, and we are letting them into our experience. Whereas goal setting just seems like, choosing something.

Holly: And then taking action towards it.

Joanna: It is just goal setting, right?

Holly: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Goal setting is just setting that smart goal, but then what follows from it is the taking the action towards it, which is usually kind of the outer work and not necessarily the inner work, which I think is vital to go along with it.

Joanna: So, instead of reaching your goal the “smart way” (air quotes) or manifesting a goal, I would say that the difference is in the vibration piece. So, when you are setting a goal you are moving towards it, you are kind of in that linear space: I want to write a book, that means I am going to take these steps, right? Whereas with manifesting, you would probably want to align with the vibration of offer.

Manifesting – not passive

Holly: Right, and I think this is a very important distinction, I think it is a very important description, because I think a lot of people see manifesting as being a very passive thing.

Joanna: Oh no.

Holly: Right. You and I don’t see it that way, but I think a lot of people who don’t fully understand the concept think: oh, I am just going to set the intention and poof, I am going to manifest this thing.

Joanna: Sometimes I think that magic can happen, but I think that is dependent on your energy field, right? If you set an intention to which you have already released the resistance, and released the old beliefs and crap, then, yes, I think it can manifest in an instant. I actually do believe that, and I think that’s the difference. But, usually, we will be choosing an intention that is a bit stretch-y, that we are not quite aligned with. I need a transcript of this, because I want that in writing.

Holly: We will get one!

Joanna: I think that’s really, really, interesting.

Holly: Okay, so, one thing that I think is really important to point out here is, we have talked about commitment, and devotion, so when you are focussing on a big intention, like this, do you need to put everything else on hold and just focus on this one thing like tunnel vision?

Joanna: What are you doing Holly?

Holly: Okay, so what I am doing, it is absolutely taking up a lot more time than I thought, and one of the fascinating parts of this journey, because I have been spending a good, two or three hours a day, between the mindset work, between the practical action work, between visualising, that kind of thing; and I said this to you earlier, and it’s not true, I said to you: it is like a full-time job, and it is obviously not, because I am running my business, and doing work in the background. But, it is taking up a lot of my thoughts, and a lot of my perspective, and a lot of my…the house pops into my head a lot during the day, even when I am not actively working on it. And I am bringing it up in conversation, with my husband, like, he was barbecuing the other night and I said: in the new house you will have more room to barbecue…stuff like that. So, I am always bringing it up so that I am painting that reality for the future, or like: in the new house we get to buy lots more furniture for the cats, so that they can have a cat tower in every room…stuff like that. It is constantly coming up even when I am not fully focussed on it. So, not putting everything else on hold, but I have put the extras on hold. So, for example every year I usually walk a long-distance trail, and my husband said to me the other day: you still haven’t told me where you are going this year, have you started planning it? And I said that’s on hold, I don’t have time for that now. So, like the extras are on hold, I am doing the normal life stuff, but not the extra stuff, so I am not planning extra trips, I am not planning extra stuff.

Joanna: It all boils down to how it feels to you, right.

Holly: Feels good.

Joanna: I think that’s the answer, maybe for some people it wouldn’t feel good, because they feel like they have to give stuff up, for example, for our goal, for buying the house mortgage free, it would feel really, really, bad to me and this would be the logical thing to do, the logical thing to do right now would be to say: all spending is minimised, everything goes to our house fund. That would feel really horrible to me, because I like to go shopping, and I like to live a fairly nice life and kind of not worry about that stuff.

Holly: For me I think it is a mental bandwidth issue more than anything, I don’t have mind space to focus on extra stuff, so I am focussing on the house, and on all the stuff I need to do to get the house, and then also my normal business work in the background. But, I can’t focus on extra stuff like planning a walk.

Joanna: Okay, but that’s also because your current phase 1 deadline is short.

Holly: Yeah, exactly.

Joanna: Not sure you would be able to keep that up for three years?

Holly: Oh no, no, no. I think that’s an excellent, excellent, point, we want to move into the house this summer, and the current home owner wants to be out of the house by September, so…our timelines both coincide.

Joanna: Yeah, so it is short term, and again, it feels good. Maybe when I am on the last stretch, the last five months, let’s say, maybe it will feel good to me to limit spending so that everything can go, because we know we are so close… at this point it would feel bad to me, I would become resentful.

Holly: Exactly.

Joanna: And that’s not a good energy to be in obviously, so, I just really think you need to be mindful of whether you are putting things on hold for the right reasons, because when I was manifesting this, I didn’t know I was manifesting, but when I wanted to pass this exam that I took a few years ago, many years ago now actually…15 years ago.

Both: {laughing}

Joanna: I gave up everything, I prided myself, when people asked me how I passed this super, super, super, difficult exam with lots of competition, I said that I gave up everything for six months. I didn’t go out, my one focus, and I prided myself on that, but I had many, many, “success requires hard work” beliefs back then.

Holly: Yeah.

Joanna: And I don’t particularly want to do it that way now. And if I did it that way now, it would still feel hard work-y to, and also that’s the wrong vibration for me. I think the answer to your question is to be very, very, mindful of how you feel.

Holly: Exactly, so I am dedicating a lot of time to this, but it doesn’t feel hard work, it feels really exciting and good.

Joanna: So then, that’s the right thing for you. It is a good question for everybody to consider, commitment, and devotion, it can mean let go of everything else. And you might naturally let go of the things that no longer matter, or don’t feel as important or whatever, right?

Holly: Yeah, exactly. So, have we answered the question: is wanting something really enough?

Joanna: I think we have answered it with: no.

Holly: And I think we have given people enough options of what you can do instead.

Joanna: Yeah, for sure. And obviously if any of you guys listening have any questions then feel free to contact us, you can email me on [email protected] or just message me on Facebook. And Holly?

Holly: [email protected]

Joanna: So, if you have any questions, or if something is unclear then get in touch and let’s have that conversation, because it is in the conversations that I think we can go deeper.

Holly: Yeah, I agree.

Joanna: Making time for this, making space for this, it is really, really important.

Holly: I agree. Yay, here’s to moving.

Joanna: Here’s to moving and it’s been great Holly, thank you for this conversation and for such awesome questions, I think it has been really good.

Holly: I think so too, thank you.

Joanna: All right. Bye.

Holly: Bye

So, I hope you enjoyed that episode, please drop me a line and let me know what you thought about this week’s show, you can email me at: [email protected] or find me on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter and get in touch. I would also love for you to join me in my private Facebook group, Business Mindset Alchemists, so we can continue the conversation there. Podcasting is such a one-way conversation, you have just been listening to this for the last hour, and haven’t been able to tell me what you think, so I would love to get some feedback from you in the group. Business Mindset Alchemists is a group dedicated to exploring business mindset, and how you can get the mindset you need to achieve your dreams, in business and in life, because it is all related. So, if you head over to https://www.hollyworton.com/group you will be redirected you to the Facebook group.

Again, thank you so much for listening, if you enjoyed this episode please leave a quick review on Apple podcasts, or on iTunes, it would mean the world to me.

And remember to visit hollyworton.com/253 for the show notes on this episode.

Next week I will back with another solo episode. See you there!