268: Holly Worton ~ How to Let Go of Things in Business & Life

Today’s Guest

Table of Contents

I’m back again, with another solo episode! This week’s episode was inspired by a topic suggestion that I got a few months back, where someone asked me to speak about letting go of old stuff, people, and things that you have put a lot of work into. Business and life are all about refining our priorities and letting go of things that no longer serve us so we can focus on the things that are most important to us. This could mean any number of things: people (such as clients, friends, family) or things (such as products or services you offer).

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What You’ll Learn

Why might you want to let go of something or someone in your business or life
How to identify things that no longer serve you and people that aren’t right for you
What types of things you might want/need to let go of
How to know when it’s time to let go of something or someone
Why decluttering your home can make it easier to let go of the bigger things to let go of
How to identify priorities in your life and why this is such a vital part of the letting go process
Why you need to get clear on where you want to go
How to get the mindset you need to easily let of things that no longer serve you

Things I Discussed

Connect With Holly

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Transcript

The transcript for this episode can also be downloaded here (no opt-in required).

Holly: Hello and welcome to the Business Mindset Podcast, episode 268. This is your host Holly Worton and I am back with another solo episode.

Today, I kind of changed the topic at the last minute, I was originally planning to do something else, and realised I wasn’t happy with the notes that I made for it so I am going to expand on them and then do it at a later date. So, today’s episode, I am going to be talking about how to let go of things in business and life. This week’s episode was inspired by a topic suggestion that I got a few months back, I think it was in the Facebook group, where someone asked me to speak about letting go of old stuff, people, and things, that maybe you have put a lot of work into and it is hard to let go of them.

So, to me, business and life are all about refining our priorities, and letting go of things that no longer serve us, so that we can focus on the things that are most important to us. And this can mean letting go of any number of things: people, such as clients, friends, family; or things; such as products, services that you offer, income streams. Life and business are all about refining, refining, refining and re-evaluating, refining; and, to me, letting go of things is a very important part of this process.

So, what will you learn today? Today, I am going to talk about how to identify the things that no longer serve you and people that aren’t right for you. What kinds of things you might want or need to let go of. We are going to talk about how to know when it is time to let go of something or someone; why you might want to let go of something or someone in your business and life; how to identify the priorities in your life and why this is such a vital part of the letting go process. We are going to talk about why you really need to get clear on where you want to go with business and life as a part of this. And, finally, how to get the mindset you need to easily let go of the things that no longer serve you.

Update on episode 266

Before I get into today’s episode, I wanted to give you a little bit of an update on episode 266. Which was the episode called: what to do when you don’t feel like doing anything. So, you may remember, if you listened to that episode, that I had a very, very, lazy week, and that was really frustrating to me, because I was out-of-the-office all last week in Yorkshire for an AS straight-to-silver navigation course, which I passed, which is very exciting. And then next week I am away visiting a friend. So I had this one week, a couple of weeks ago, to get everything done, between Monday and Friday, it was a reasonable expectation, but it didn’t happen. It didn’t happen because I just couldn’t focus and that was really, really, frustrating to me.

So, in that episode I talked about being flexible with getting stuff done, how to be flexible with your calendar, how to get clear on why you are not being productive, how to understand whether it is time to give yourself a break or push through that lazy feeling; and I talked about why lazy days can be a symptom of burnout, which is what I thought was going on for me. So, I did that episode, I sent it out to be edited, to go live, and then the next day I had a working day in my calendar, really my last chance to get stuff done before I went away to Yorkshire and because I had taken some time that week to not get everything done and I had allowed myself some white space in my calendar. And, because I had given myself permission to, I am going to call it being lazy, I had given myself permission to be lazy, which is not exactly what it was, but I had given myself permission to not force myself to get everything done. That Saturday was one of my last chances to get stuff done, I didn’t do anything except for recording the podcast, and then Sunday was really my last chance, because I had a birthday on Monday and then Tuesday I was going up to Yorkshire.

Well, because I had allowed myself to rest, and relax, I got so much done on Sunday. I spent a big chunk of time clearing out my inbox, I got some work with my husband, I had to study for my navigation course, so I did a little bit of that, I packed, and got ready, I was super-super-productive. Sunday of last week was like a work day, it was a really, really, good, really productive, day and I think that was because I allowed myself that much-needed time, I think I was heading towards burnout in some way and allowing myself that week of not forcing myself to get stuff done really helped me to get back on track and get things done.

So, last week was again, I was up in Yorkshire, I was really focussed on totally non-business-related stuff, so it was physically challenging, it was mentally challenging, but it was different stuff from business. So, I do consider that to be a break, because my brain was being used for other stuff so, I was getting a break from business stuff. I came back yesterday, this is again Sunday, and I am recording this before going to Brussels tomorrow, and I have had a super-super-productive day. I made sure to time block my calendar, I readjusted it yesterday, I added a bunch of stuff in, it has taken me longer to get through some of my emails than I suspected it would, that’s fine. I have still got a lot of stuff to do, that’s fine, because I have gotten so much done. My brain was really rested, and relaxed, and I was able to focus really well today.

So, it was really important for me to follow up on that podcast episode, because I had recorded it after that really frustrating week of not getting stuff done, and I wanted to update with the benefits that I had experienced of giving myself permission to not all the stuff done.

So, if you are feeling lazy, if you are not focussed, listen to that episode, if you haven’t already, and if you feel like maybe you are heading towards burnout, give yourself permission, please, to just relax and do whatever is relaxing to you. Maybe that’s reading, maybe that’s taking a bath, maybe that’s going to the gym, whatever, do the stuff that helps you relax.

Today’s topic

That’s all for now, so I am going to move on to today’s episode which is again how to let go of things in business and life.

So, how to identify things that no longer serve you and people that aren’t right for you?

I think as we move through business and life, as I said, it is a process of really getting clarity on the path, the path that we want to walk, both with business and life; the things that we want to experience; the way we want to feel and the experience we want to have. Part of that requires a really heightened sense of awareness, of really being aware of the things we want, the things we don’t want, how we want to feel, how we don’t want to feel, and what changes we can make to have the experience that we want to have in our business and in our life. It is a very much a holistic thing, I know this is the Business Mindset Podcast, I talk a lot about business, but our business is a part of our life and it is really important that our lifestyle, that our business fits into the lifestyle that we want to have.

So, again, why might you want to let go of things, and what kinds of things do you want to let go of?

As I said, it could be people, it could be clients that no longer bring you joy, that you feel ugh you just can’t bear to have a client call with them, or do the work for them, or whatever. Maybe you have got friends that you feel like you should stay friends with them, but for some reason they just don’t make you feel good anymore. Or family members who maybe don’t support you or don’t make you happy. Or, things, such as products, services, income streams, that you offer in your business.

How to know when it is time to let go of something?

I think one of the ways is: it doesn’t feel good for whatever reason, so maybe you have got a gut feeling that something is not right for you, or just whenever you work on a certain aspect of your business, or work with a certain client, or engage with a certain person in your life, it just doesn’t feel good. And that it is time to take a look at that person, or that thing, and evaluate why. So, as you are listening to this episode, maybe make a note of things that come to mind: people, income-streams, stuff, that pop into your mind as you are listening to this, write that stuff down so you can spend some time evaluating.

So, sometimes people are really negative. I had this client one time that was really, really, negative and it was really challenging for me to work with this person and they had signed up for a three-session-package and it was really challenging. I found it difficult to work with the person, I wasn’t sure if they were finding it useful, at the end when we wrapped up, apparently, they had found it super-super-useful, and they felt that they had had really big shifts and they enjoyed it. And, that was great, that made me feel good about it, but I was very clear with myself that I did not want to work with that person again, just because it was just so difficult, it wasn’t difficult because they were experiencing deep or difficult problems, it was difficult because the person was so negative and really difficult to work with. So, if you have a client that is negative, or difficult, or challenging, think about why and think about whether you really want to continue to work with that person.

If you are the kind of person who does done-for-you work like graphic design, or web design, or that kind of thing, sometimes clients, especially in that graphic element can be really, really, difficult. Just not giving you clear feedback, and wanting perfection, but not being able to communicate what they want, that’s really stressful, do you really want that? And, if so, are you charging enough to experience that? Could you let go of that person, and maybe make room for a new client that might be easier. In the personal realm, sometimes people grow apart, that’s normal, it is absolutely natural, it has happened to me, it has happened to everyone. As we grow, as we evolve, we grow closer to some people and we grow away from other people, and it is okay to just let go of those relationships. Maybe your goals have changed, your needs have changed, and so maybe you used to do one-to-one client sessions and your goal had been to fill up your calendar with one-to-one client sessions and then you have decided that you would rather focus on a group program, or an online program, a home-study program, or writing books, or something else, and you have different goals and different needs for your business and so you decide to focus on those; and so you decide to let go of other things and make space for new things.

Maybe you are living in the past, and really kind of stuck in that glorification of how things were a while ago, whether it is a few months ago, or a year ago, whatever; and you are not looking ahead, you are not looking at how things are now. And, sometimes, clients start out great and then it is time to let go for whatever reason. And that’s a thing to evaluate when you are looking at things, when you are trying to figure out whether something serves you or not: are you stuck in the past? Are you evaluating this income stream, this product, this service, this person, are you evaluating your relationship with them based on what is currently happening or on how things were five years ago, or a year ago, or five months ago?

But, ultimately, do you enjoy it, do you enjoy this person? Do you enjoy this part of your business? Does it make you happy? Does it spark joy? And that’s a phrase from this book that I think came out in 2014, that everyone seemed to be reading back then, which is The Life Changing Magic of Tidying, by Marie Condo, and I will link to that in the show notes. And that was about decluttering, and tidying up your house, but one of the main questions that she asked, to help you decide whether or not you wanted to keep something, or let go of something, was: does it spark joy? So, go through different people and things in your business, go through your client list, and ask yourself: does this person spark joy? Do I love working with this person? And if not, think about what you can do to change that relationship, and that might be letting go, or it might be changing the relationship in some way. In terms of products or services, does it bring joy for you to provide this product and service and, if not, what can you do to change that? Sometimes, this uncomfortable feeling, with business, or with life, can be a really good catalyst for you to pivot in your business, and I have mentioned R M Harrison’s book The Pivot Map, a few times on this podcast. RM was a guest on this podcast a while back, a couple of years ago, I think, and she recently wrote a book called: The Pivot Map, and basically that is how to pivot in your business. How to take what you have got, and shift it into something a little bit different, and shift it so you can go on your path. And, sometimes, that involves making big changes, sometimes it involves making small changes, you don’t have to let go of all the things at once, you can identify the things that need to change, and one-by-one declutter them, let go, it doesn’t have to be all or nothing.

And I think this is important. So, whether you are decluttering stuff at home or people or stuff in your business, you don’t have to do it all at once, you can do it little-by-little. And declutter step-by-step in the same way you would with your house; some people will tear apart their house in one day or one weekend, and just go through everything and declutter. Or, you can just pick a room and start with it and do one room each week, or one room each day. And that leads me to the next thing that you can do to make it easier for you to let go of things in your business and life, is declutter your house, your office. And sometimes by decluttering physical stuff that no longer serves us, it is easier to kind of get into the habit and get the ball rolling with the decluttering process. And that makes it easier, it often does make it easier, to declutter some of the scarier things to let go of. So, if you feel uncomfortable, if you feel like you need a change, start by decluttering. Start with whatever room feels easiest, start with whichever room you spend the most time in, whatever room is most appropriate for whatever reason, pick one and just start decluttering. And get rid of the stuff, take it to a charity shop, get it out of your house. Again, by decluttering the physical stuff, you can make it a lot easier to let go of the scarier stuff, that you need or want to let go of, in your business and life. So, declutter. Start with your closet, start with whatever part of your house you want to start with.

Priorities

So, as I said, one of the important things that you need to do in order to help identify the things that you want or need to let go of is to identify priorities in your life.

And I have a really, really, old blog post that I was reminded of when I was doing the notes for this episode, before I got started recording, which dates back to December 29th, 2011. So, I had these blog posts that were based around these three questions that I focussed on for a lot of my life: Who am I? Where am I? Where am I going?

So, who am I? Is helping to get clear on who you are! That’s an obvious question.

But the next question is: where am I? So, where are you in your business, and your life? So, in this blogpost I was talking about doing a wheel of life, which is one of those old life coach-y kind of thing. And reassess things, wherever you are in each aspect of your life, or business. You can do, I have a wheel of business that I had in my online program, which I am happy to email you, or I could just link to it here, in the show notes, obviously. So, look at you wheel of life and look at your wheel of business and look at where you are in relation to each area: it might be health and wellbeing; social life; spirituality; money; that kind of thing, different areas, and you can adjust the categories to fit you.

Then, look at each of the categories and rink them, in order of importance to you, in terms of priority. So, 1 would be your top priority and if you have got eight sections, 8 would be your lows. So, try to do that as quickly as possible, so in your business you would identify the most important areas of your business, and your life, and again this is the kind of thing to do really quickly without over-analysing it too much. Rank each of the areas and then think about how you actually live your life and business, is your number one priority actually your number one priority? If you say, say, spirituality is your number one priority in life, do you really place into importance in your life, do you make that a priority in your calendar? Do you meditate every morning, or do your spiritual exercises, or go to church or whatever it is that you do that I part of your spiritual life? Do you make that a non-negotiable part of every day or every week? Do your actions show what is supposedly your number one priority is actually your priority? There things that we think are important, we don’t actually make them important.

So, look at these things, these different aspects of your business, these different aspects of your life, and see whether you are actually making them a priority, because oftentimes we don’t, we think things are important, but they really aren’t and it is really, really frustrating. So, looking at your wheel of business for example, the categories could be: business growth, money, clients, giving back, integrity, building your network, visibility, whether your business is in line with your values, whether you have a business-life balance, that kind of thing. You can change the different categories but those are some aspects of business that might be important to you. So, identify your priorities in your life and business using the wheel of life, using the wheel of business, or just using something else, or just brainstorm on what your priorities are and see whether or not you are actually making them a priority. And, if not, why? How you can adjust, how can you pivot, how can you make different decisions? And look at the things that are lower priority and see if you can let go of them, or, give yourself permission to put them on the back burner. I think a lot of this, letting go of things, is giving yourself permission to let go and to focus on the things that are really, really important to you.

Now question three of the three questions: who am I, where am I, where am I going? Is also really important. So you really need to get clear on where you want to go with your business? Where you want to be headed with your life, what does your path look like? And that’s going to change, that’s going to change as you do your personal development work and as you get clear on the things that you want to do. And, it will require adjustments along the way. It might require quarterly adjustments, monthly adjustments, weekly adjustments, yearly adjustments, I don’t know, it depends on you, and what works for you. Get clear on where you want to be headed and then adjust the path as you go, but you need to be clear where you want to go, so that you can identify your priorities. So, I decided that I wanted to focus more on my writing this year, but am I actually making that a priority? Sometimes, yes, sometimes, no. I have got a long way to go with that. I have made improvements, but I still have more work I can do, and I still have things I can let go of, so that I can make writing and my books a priority.

Mindset

Finally, how to get the mindset you need to let go of the things, really get clear on those priorities and do use PSYCH-K or other modalities that work with belief statements; do some beliefs: “It is easy for me to focus on the priorities in my business and life”; “I easily let go of things that no longer serve me”, “I easily let go of people that are no longer right for me”, do some belief statements that will support you to easily let go of the things that no longer serve you. And, declutter. I know that is like a physical thing, and not a mindset thing, but decluttering physical stuff will really help you declutter the mind stuff; I think that is really, really important and really easy to do. It is so easy to just set aside some time to declutter the physical stuff.

So, identify what you need to believe about yourself in order to let go of things that no longer serve you. Identify who you need to be to easily let go of things. Identify what your higher self wants you to let go of, and work on that; create some belief statements and reprogram them to help you get the Mindset you need to easily let go of these things that no longer serve you.

So, that is all for now, that was kind of a short episode, plus the introduction which was kind of the update to 266. I hope you find this useful, I think this is a good introduction into letting go of stuff.

The mindset work is super, super, important, as always, I think it just makes it easier for us to take action in terms of letting go of things, but a lot of this, like I said, boils down to you giving yourself permission to let go of things, and people, and know that it is okay; this is absolutely normal to pivot, to refine your path, and to let go of the things that no longer serve you so that you can focus on the things that are super-high-priority and important to you, and that bring you joy.

So that’s all for now, I will be back next week, and I look forward to seeing you then, have a good week! Remember to visit hollyworton.com/268 for the show notes on this episode.